Narrator – On foot through France 3

Via the GR 5 in France I walked from the Jura to the Vosges. This area was more populated and I found less easily a place to sleep. On a rainy evening at twilight I was only welcome when I paid for my overnight stay. My stories and my kindness were not enough. I had no more money and after a few kilometres walk I found a place to sleep in the open air. Covered in plastic I spent the night vigilant. The next morning I was clammy and benumbed. After an hour walk I was warm again.

In the Vosges there were sufficient opportunities to spent the night in the wild. It was beautiful weather. At night the moon and the starry sky gave me comfort. During the day I enjoyed the beautiful view. At a few places I could almost oversee my whole way from the snowy Alps.

[1]

During my walk on the mountain peaks of the Vosges I met new ghosts. A century ago this chain of peaks formed the border between Alsace in Germany and Lorraine in France. The road – Route des Crêtes – was built by the French army during the First World War [2]. The road is situated on the French side of the chain, so the road was less vulnerable for the German guns. The ghosts of the victims during these many wars between France and Germany accompanied me to the Luxembourg border. On this part they were my companions. I promised that my breath would be their breath as long as I lived just as my breath was already the breath of the villagers. Once I hoped to arrive home together with them all.

[3]

The path on the mountain peaks was congested; I got help and support of many people. In the valleys I felt less at home. By cover in the valleys I could not see the road; I felt trapped. I wanted to keep an eye on the road. Without sight on the heaven and earth, the ghosts of the villagers and of the fallen soldiers came before my eyes [4]. Only much later could I could unite heaven and earth; afterwards I had no more difficulty to fall asleep anywhere – even within walls and in valleys.

[5]

With a companion in the North of France I made a small detour to the Maginot line [6]. We saw the remnants at Michelsberg [7] and Hackenberg [8]. We were surprised how a society could feel safe and sheltered behind this dark burrows in the ground filled with terror for the society on the other side. With my eyes on the road, unity had many faces, and two had no duality. The Maginot line – as part of the many wars between France and Germany – fell beyond my comprehension.

[9]

At Schengen I illegally entered the other world of Luxembourg. Later the treaty for free movement of people in a part of Europe was agreed upon at this place. After such a huge detour with so much suffering and madness of everyday life, unity could finally be restored. It remains curious that a Treaty on paper is needed for a unit that is for my mother as natural as breathing, moving eyes, hands, and moving legs for walking; unity with many faces and two without duality.

[10]

Much later – on the 12^th of October 2012 – the Nobel Peace Prize was awarded to the European Union, because the European Union and its predecessors had contributed to peace and reconciliation, democracy and human rights in Europe for more than sixty years. So much effort for a contribution that is as natural as breathing.

In Luxembourg, I entered a fairy-tale troll country.

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[1] Source image: http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fichier:Col_du_Grand_Ballon.jpg

[2] Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Route_des_Cr%C3%AAtes

[3] Source image: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Rothenbachkopf_nord.jpg

[4] See also: Cleary, Thomas, Book of Serenity – One Hundred Zen Dialogues. Bosten: Shambhala, 1998 p. 70.

[5] Source image: http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fichier:Vosges_val_munster.jpg

[6] See also: http://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maginotlinie

[7] See also: http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ouvrage_du_Michelsberg

[8] See also: http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ouvrage_du_Hackenberg

[9] Source image: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Ouvrage_du_Michelsberg

[10] Source image: http://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schengen_(Luxemburg)

Carla Drift – Changes and Conflicts

My move to Delft and Amsterdam caused many changes. My world changed and my family ties and friendships took other forms. I met many new people and we lived with each other at a distance or nearby depending on the circumstances.

The changes that I experienced with these moves, were the normal changes that young people encounter when they mature. I still am in touch with some friends from my school time in South-Limburg. My primary school boyfriend is happily married with his “secret” love and they have already children – I’m fond of them. I keep them informed of the usual things in my life and if we meet we make fun or we have a conversation about the developments in our lives. With some friends from my study in Delft, I still have contact. We meet each other occasionally.

[1]

According to my friends from Delft, my great love is in the stage of on-off relationships – I purposely keep him at a distance. After the end of our love, I held the attention of all men who were in love with me, at a distance. In Delft female students in the technical studies are scarce: I could have received  much attention, but that was not fair to them and to myself – I was clear on this point. On the other hand I was open for friendship and nice contacts. I had several friends who felt a dormant love for me. In Amsterdam the ratio men – women was in balance. Suddenly there was a lot less attention of young men; I preferred this in the solidified time.

With my family, I have always had a good relation. My two younger sisters have found – in my eyes pretty early – a good life partner; they are happily married and now they have a number of children. However, we still quibble as the three sisters. With my mother, the mutual appreciation has increased and the emotional distance remained. My father and I can get along very well, we visit museums or we regularly travel to cities in the Netherlands or abroad.

With nobody I have talked about the solidified time. Some of my relatives gave me extra attention. Well intentioned, but it had no impact on the intensity and chill; the time remained as endless as always. My father felt that there was something – he thought it might be grief about the loss of my beloved. He said comforting and also painful for me: “You have always been special. Also in grief, you are also special. Fortunately you do not seek comfort in something impossible”.

[2]
In Amsterdam at the time, I saw my emotional life as a growth spurt into adulthood – later it has received a name [3]. I was extremely aware that changes in people’s lives were irrevocably, past and present were solidified as in glass. The present is constantly changing – usually smooth and fluent –before starting to get rigid. Occasional conflicts often fizzle out – former quarrels with my sisters usually did not last long. Potential sources of conflicts within the society or between societies are often settled by political decision-making, legislation or channelled by treaties.

[4]

Sometimes the conflict escalates and creates a directions fight – at this point Amsterdam has a tradition to have demonstrations, riots, squatting of buildings. Sometimes these conflicts end with broken glass, some arrests and occasionally a few wounded. In the private sphere, there can be some broken dishes and a few clumsy hits can be exchanged between relatives. Other conflicts are settled through case law. The pressure must sometimes escape from the interpersonal and/or social tension.

[5]

[6]

Some conflicts derail and become nasty and vindictive matters. They can degenerate into massacres and civil wars within a society or into battles and wars between societies. These derailment are surrounded with all kinds of myths and rites so that the causes, the crimes and the consequences of the conflict receive an understandable place in a society. The consequences are always bottomless grief for all parties involved. The grief of the victor is often softened by the loot and the right to amend the history in its sole discretion. The consequences for the loser can result in confinement to a life under a different regime, but it can also result in destruction of every form of culture, in loss of the honour of men and women and even in complete eradication.

[7]

Looking for a scapegoat is a special form of conflict prevention within a society. People or groups with a different origin, appearance, culture, opinion and/or religion are easy to stigmatise as scapegoat. A society has the opinion that by removing the scapegoat from public life or from society, the original tension and/or conflict is also vanish.

[8]

Within my study Humanities I studied the course of changes and especially the reasons why some changes can derail so seriously. In nature we notice similar mechanisms in ants populations who can turn from a peaceful existence into a war population. These populations can also leave behind a track of destruction.

I studied the conditions under which small and large conflicts derail, the actions of people and their leaders who cause the derailments or contributing to it, the course of the excesses and the impact of these excesses.

The last year of my study Humanities in Amsterdam, I studied the intensities, the chill and the solidified time of conflicts, violence, battles, wars and genocide. I tried to figure out what was the cause of these extreme forms of change. I also studied how the horrors could be prevented.

[1] Source image: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship
[2] Source image: http://it.wikipedia.org/wiki/Introversione
[3] See also: Kuiper, P.C., Ver Heen (Far Gone). ’s-Gravenhage: SDU Drukkerij, 1988
[4] Source image: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Politics
[5] Source image: http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tribunal
[6] Source image: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Riot
[7] Source image: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War
[8] Source image: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scapegoating