The spring Sun shines
abundant and generous
Her Smile for us
From an environment where “Yes” could mean anything depending on the circumstances – from a straight “no” to a “yes” said by Molly Bloom in Ulysses by James Joyce – I moved to a country where “yes and no” divided the world completely in half. It was a land that was incredible flat and where each group of people had its own church and faith based on a specific paragraph from the Bible. Only the water was omnipresent. Water was equal for all and everyone lived with it and fought against it. It was constantly pumping or wet feet – many floors of houses along the canals are well below the water level in the canal.
Later I understood that this pumping listens very closely. If too much water is pumped from the polder, the bottom of the polder will irrevocably drop further down. There must always remain sufficient water in the canals and the bottom of the polder.
In this country, I went to live and study, and here I met my great love – in that order.
As flat as the polders were in my view, also as flat were the manners of the inhabitants of that country. I was invited at a birthday party for coffee – including a small piece of apple pie for each visitor and later in the evening in answer to the offer of a second beer everyone said: “It is time to leave”. I remained seated with my second beer that I drank quickly. At festivity in South Limburg 24 fresh fruit pies were baked for the visit – one did count on several pieces of fruit pie more or less for every guest. And there was always sufficient beer and food.
My room in Delft was near a citizen Rowing Club. I visited the Club: the Club and I liked each other. My three years in Delft I was in a female crew for boat racing.
In this direct environment I started my study: it matched the straightforwardness of mathematics and physics. Later I noticed that the topics of my study and the inhabitants of Holland what less straightforward.
My study was still as easy as on the gymnasium. Many false securities disappeared during my study. If I had to design an amplifier in a practicum; there were too many unknown variables in the formulas in order to obtain an unique outcome. The solution consisted of adopting a certain bias current – based on experience or daily practise – and if this initial bias current did not fit, the bias was altered slightly.
Determining the results of Lab. tests consisted of measuring several times and then statistically calculating the outcome with a certain reliability interval – also daily practise, but structured and reproducible daily practise within a statistical sound reliability interval.
In the lectures philosophy we learned the falsification theory  of Popper and Kuhn as a criterion for science: an idea or model was only science if the idea or model in question was susceptible – and open – for other ideas/models that stood a chance to refute the first idea. Ideas and models that were not susceptible to falsification, fell into the category of dogma or religion.
During the lectures human sciences I learned the hierarchy of needs described by Abraham Maslow . According to this model I had made a start with self-realisation with a huge hole in love – until then I had played hide and seek with my feelings of love.
The lectures social sciences about the “Milgram”  and “Stanford Prison experiments”  increased my concern and uneasiness that was arisen at the reading of the oeuvre of Jef Geeraerts and Erich Fromm. A very significant part of humanity was – often by circumstances – very easily moved to lewd, docile and even abject behaviour. In my last year in Delft I made acquaintance with theory of “bad faith” and “the look” of Sartre . By this way of seeing people were severely hampered in their freedom. According to “bad faith” people become an instrumental thing by adhering a stamp to the people in question: a free man with all possibilities is solely by his role as for example a waiter reduced to a limited instrumental serving object. A similar mechanism is acting in the theory of “the look” in which a free man – with all possibilities – is in a glance reduced to a despicable creature. E.g. a man is looking through a keyhole of a room, a second man sees this: by the look of this second person the first man is reduced to a lewd peeper.
These colleges in philosophy and human sciences have influenced my entire further life. Later I will continue my study in a complete other direction in Amsterdam.
First I followed a technical scientific study for three years with amongst others the topics: electromagnetic fields, thermodynamics, fluid dynamics, relativity, quantum mechanics and mathematics about matrices and vector fields.
Of course I kept visiting libraries. The general library for literature, general development and relaxation and the technical library for deepening and enhancing my scientific knowledge.
In the second semester of my first year in Delft, love came in my life all-encompassing and inevitable.